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Sauron Forged My iPhone In the Fires of Mordor
My husband grabbed my iPhone out of my hand last night without warning. He wanted to make sure that I didn’t manage to get a picture of him in his Tommy Hilfiger blue-checked dress shirt, bicycle...
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Twitter Is Just As Bad As I Thought It Was
I just recently started a Twitter account. I avoided Twitter like the plague for a long time, because I thought it was a time-sucking bunch of inane drivel. Then, a few months ago, my friend Tom Racine...
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Facebook: More Like Christmas, Less Like Oxygen
I have a new Power Pose now. I usually just go for the “Top of the Hill,” which I do…at the top of a hill, after I run up it. It involves looking out over the horizon, hands on hips, while...
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Getting a PhD in Biochemistry Is a Lot Harder Than Running a 5K
We went to a wedding this weekend for one of my husband’s coworkers. I had met the affianced on a couple of occasions, and some people from the office were there, but otherwise I was swimming in a sea...
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I Do Not Believe You, George R.R. Martin
I started watching that Game of Thrones, I realize I’m a little behind. Y’all are about 5,000 deaths ahead But you keep going, I don’t mind. See, I read the books already So I’m not exactly a newbie....
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Pokemom. So?
I’m forty-two years old But don’t you say that I’m over. You can’t even see my game ‘Cause I take my kids for cover. I don’t care what it is, Weedle, Meowth, or Spearow. I’m gonna catch ’em all....
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iNappropriate
iNappropriate I think I’m in love with my phone. I’d like to say “Not like THAT,” But I’m not so sure that’s true, as I Swipe this way, oh YES, and that. I touch it more than my husband,...
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The Only Princess I Could Be
I started elementary school in 1979. That’s roughly two years after Star Wars: A New Hope was released, and about a year before The Empire Strikes Back hit the theaters. Empire was the first movie...
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Summernatural
I’m spending this summer’s TV time on Winchesters, Because most of my friends are hardcore investors. Season One left me, frankly, shaking my head. How are these Duke clones not already dead? I don’t...
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Shadow of Momdor
I’m not doing dishes, The laundry can wait. I’m taking a break Before I self-immolate. I was patient ’til two, When fit pitching commenced. Why do days have more hours? It doesn’t make sense? The...
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Log
what’s brown and sticky? someone’s been walking their tree oaken excremEnt I once seriously considered starting a Tumblr of “Toys that look like turds.” I had small children and small geriatric dogs...
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98.8% Is Fine
The Ancients thought the solar eclipse Was the wrath of the great I Am. In modern times, there’s wrath indeed– In this God-forsaken traffic jam. Oregon normally has a population of around four million...
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Back to the F*%#re
I mean…dam, Marty. Hey kids! Let’s watch a show– A movie your dad and I both know. It’s kid-friendly time-traveling fun, With a quantum-modified DeLorean! Imagine my delighted surprise At the...
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